Must Keep Going

Have you ever felt like you just don’t have the strength to keep going? I’m not talking about your mental strength. I’m talking about your physical strength. You would think that between 2005-2011 I would be fine because my gall bladder, appendix, right tube and ovary, uterus, 2 bladder slings, knee surgery and Lasik eye surgery, everything would be fine. Right? No! I think it made it worse.

I can’t eat. I hardly can sleep. I have no energy. I think that because of my faith is why I have strength. The lord is helping me for sure. My body is so weak. My vision is messed up sometimes and my eyes are so dry. My throat hurts and stays so dry from all the projectile vomiting. Yet, I still find time to exercise. I can’t just lay down. I think of so many things I must do. You know, you’re the mom so you can’t just give up and expect the family to take over. HA! That’s too funny. What would they do without me? Nothing would get done. I can only imagine..( Bad picture) I don’t want to imagine it. I run the household. I keep things in order. I’m the Boss! Well, at least I think I am and that’s what matters.

I must keep going. I must keep working. I must keep finishing my school I waited my whole life to go to college and now i have the chance. I have a great job working from home and it is beneficial too. So I must keep going. I am happy to see this new Gi specialist. We’re going to get me better. I know you are probably thinking, It’s not an easy fix.But I wish it could be. It’s okay to want to throw in the towel. It’s okay to say it sucks.

If you want to get a general idea how I feel, Imagine your neck with stabbing pains and going into your right shoulder. It hurts and so stiff because you were throwing up numerous times off and on for several months, and so it gave you Whiplash. Imagine having a headache that won’t go away, sore throat and constantly pain in your stomach. Staying nauseated all the time. And no matter what you do or where you go you either grab the nearest garbage can, bag or run to the toilet. Because Niagra Falls is happening. Usually about 4 straight times in a row. No warning just BAM! You look at yourself in the mirror and clean your face and wash up and say, Well back at it! And you just go about your day like nothing happened. That’s what it is. That is how I can explain it. You Just keep going. No matter if you were in bed or shopping or wherever. You just keep going. You can’t just lay around or just kick back and watch movies. You will get sick at any time.

So you pray a lot. Your husband hugs you a lot. And you just find comfort knowing you are doing the best you can and stay positive . I say that I’m a great mother and wife. I am doing well at work and school and I must keep going. Yes! I must. It gets hard at times where you want to give up. Where you say Heavenly Father take this from me, and he doesn’t. Why? Well, I believe I must learn something from this, or someone is learning.

It makes me want to take better care of myself. And make sure my family is doing the same. I don’t wish this on anyone. Make sure I watch what I eat. Sip on fluids. Find diets that diabetes and gastroparesis sufferers can eat. Exercise. Relax and meditate. Continue with the gospel. Continue praying. Must KEEP GOING! Must cope with this and move on. I don’t want others to suffer. We all need to take good care of our bodies both physically, mentally and spiritually. We must keep going and find joy in all circumstances. I won’t lie to you. It’s hard and gets harder but the more you slack and give up the worse it will be. Taking care of yourself is very important because you must keep that strength building so you can have it to stay alive and finish what you need to do in this life. So go ahead and cry. Go ahead and vent and then suck it up and keep going! That’s the hard part but it has to happen. Life is more pleasant when you enjoy it.





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