SO JUST SMILE! THAT IS THE TITLE OF MY BLOG FOR TODAY. I wasn’t planning on writing, but I signed off from work and before I start doing couple other writing tasks and work on my school work, I decided I must write. WHY? Why do I bother sharing my feelings to the whole world? Well for one, I doubt the whole world is listening. If they are then I obviously made change ha-ha. Second, is because someone out there likes my craziness and mainly my smile 🙂 You know when my husband says he loves me for my Smile! Yeah! Just my smile nothing else 😉 ha-ha 🙂 Actually, to be honest, that is what got him. We met online, and he saw a picture of me and my smile pulled him in. Now I’m just that awful hemorrhoid that won’t go away ..bwahaha. J/k…

As I had said previously in my other blog posts about little things of my health and the awful breaking the chair. NO! It wasn’t because I was huge neither. You could weigh 50 pounds and that chair would’ve broke. It was time. Gives me a good excuse to get a nice dinner table and chairs when we buy our house huh? Put that on my bucket list. I don’t see my doctors paying for that. Matter of fact I think we are paying the doctors for their wishes. Whew! The cost now a days. You know you get separate bills. One for the doctor, one for the lab, one for the x-ray and etc.. I know! I know..You got to be blessed you have insurance, money, and can see them. That’s why you got to do what? Yes, stop complaining but you must SMILE! See, in this picture I took a selfie of me working. well actually I was on break, and  I’m smiling. Who says when you mess up your tailbone that it’s comfy sitting weird in the bed? I have pillows, covers, and no matter what I do, I am just SMILING! Despite puking before. I got my Gatorade, water, and snacks and the fan blowing too. I’m all set up.  Yet, The pain is horrible. Yet, I’m still smiling. Plus I can bark orders haha. No, really when my family gets home from school and work, they are great at helping. They know nothing gets me down. And just because I’m taking it easy, the house still needs to be in order.So either they fear me when I’m not hurting or they don’t want to test me when I am hurting. Who knows, ha-ha. I just believe in harmony. Why not laugh about it. Why not SMile! When you truly smile you get to feeling better.

Like I can ramble on and on all I want about nothing, at least i’m smiling doing it. I don’t have to make sense, at least i’m smiling right? Yep! You’re going to go through things in your life that you won’t want to smile. And trust me that A-OK! But as you go through things and when you are ready you can work on gaining that smile back. It will take time. It’s finding the joy in all circumstances. Finding that despite what you’re feeling and going through, things are still just great. No matter if you’re having a hard time, You can still feel happy. If someone is having a bad time, sick, or lost someone, it’s okay to still feel happy and smile. You can still laugh. It’s not showing disrespect to them. Just as long as you show you are sincere about their feelings and that you respect that in their hard times you are there for them and won’t push them to be something they aren’t. So they will come around. It will take time. You can be their ear to listen to them. You can be their shoulder when they cry. You can lend a hand when they need help. You can pay something for them if they need service. You can do whatever you can to support someone whether it’s physically, financially,emotionally, spiritually, or what have you. AS LONG AS YOU DO IT WITH A SMILE! I say that because I don’t want anyone to feel that they are a burden. When I take calls for work, do you think I say ‘How can I help you’ and huff and puff and rush them to get off the phone? NO WAY! I say it with a smile. Even though I’m hurting and I want to tear up, I still take that call and I do what? SERVICE THEM! It may be my job, but I still Service them. I help them.

You never know what someone else is going through. So that smile can go a long way. Whether someone can see it or not. We all can feel if someone is hurting. We can see if someone is reaching out to us. IF we are just blind by what is going on in our lives, what good can come of that? I needed to do some errands today. I had couple dollars in change. I gave it to the cashier and paid for the lady behind me. She got some kind of hot drink and something to eat. She didn’t need me to buy it for her, but she looked sad. I didn’t know her and I just wanted to do something nice for her. I felt to buy that. She then bought couple packs of cigerattes. Did I look at her and judge her ? No! Did I say ‘wow! You can buy those name brand of cigerattes so I should’ve payed it forward to someone else because you weren’t worth it’ No! NO WAY! Everyone is worth it. I just smiled and said “I wanted to pay it forward. ”So you can now pay it forward”. If you ever wonder why you don’t get to be one of those pay it forward peeps, well maybe because we don’t have many peeps doing it. Just do it yourself and not worry about whether you would win something, or be in a drive thru and get your meal paid for, or a phone call that you won this or unexplained letter or packaged of gifts or money or a bill payed for. We all have blessings. We just have to count them. Sad thing is we notice when others are experiencing them when we watch and say , Man, I wish that was me right there. Or nothing good happens to me. When really we should always count our blessings each day and with a smile. I’ve been trying to do that. I admit it, I’m human. I thought, man I wish I was on the ELLen Show, and she could buy me a car, or send me a check or wish I could have a shopping spree..Then I think, what if that is what those people need at that time. I don’t know what people need. But I sure would like them to be helped. It’s not bad to think that or dream . What’s bad is to never act on kindess and pay it forward in any way and smile and be grateful for what we have. It’s bad to always think of the pain and suffering you are going through, when someone needs your uplifting and your support.

Maybe that is why I need to write today. Maybe a family member or friend or stranger needs to see my words. I am not close to many that I’d like to be. And I feel the emptiness and the sadness of not being around my family and friends. yet, at least they know I love them. I pray for them. I am here for them. Sometimes you may feel like no one comes to you in their time of need. Well, that’s okay. They may have certain people in their life they can go to. Doesn’t mean you’re not needed. You can still smile and make them smile of writing a card, showing up ,sending them a package, sending a text , making a call, or however you feel you need to do something. I promise those feelings of doubts will just make you get more depressed. Trust me. I was feeling that not long ago. I felt that I was no good to others. That my family didn’t care and No one wanted me to help them. I felt that they thought I was just this big loser that can’t do anything because i had all these health issues or I was mental or whatever..You know what happened? I woke up! I woke up from my self pity, my rut..Yes, I may go through things that others can’t understand or comprehend. But I do matter. I matter to many. My smile is important to many. I may not talk to all my family and friends all the time or see them often, but i’m loved. I guess when you’re in a rut and you feel like that and sad, that’s normal and you want the attention and be noticed that people do care. That’s all fine. But what is more fine is when you take the time to help someone else that is needing help more. Not saying that you don’t matter either. It just feels different when you’re going through that hard time, to notice others in their hard times. Trust me, it’s a great feeling and it gets you out of that rut. That’s why I smile!


Just the same when you pay it forward. I would’ve just left it with just a smile. I could’ve said I needed that couple dollars in change for my medicines or my family or whatever. But I didn’t even think that. When you do something for someone else, you don’t think about it. YOU JUST DO IT! Not to be rewarded. Not to be thanked. Just because your heart tells you too at that moment. You don’t ask questions or figure out why..The same with smiling. You JUST DO IT! You JUST SMILE!. Be grateful in ALL CIRUMSTANCES. And you work through your hard times with a smile, so you can help others in their hard times. Life is more pleasant. I was in that rut and if I stayed in that rut and didn’t see the blessings and joys, I would be missing life and missing the blessings I could give to others. Tommorrow I have my Gi Appointment and I’ll know my  next plan of what we do. So I’ll update on that. Until then Do what you need to do. I’ll do what I need to do. ANd just Payitforward, Especially with a SMILE! You MATTER! 🙂 WE ALL MATTER 🙂







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