My Fight To Go Forward With Faith

SPIRITUAL SUNDAY

Some who are reading this may know I value my beliefs.We all believe in someone or something. I don’t care who you are or what you believe in. I just want you to know someone loves you and we all need to love one another. I know my creator Heavenly Parents and our Savior loves us more than we can imagine.

Today as you know,is Sunday. I try to make Sundays a more spiritual day.  So I try to have my family sit together, talk together, learn together, go to church together, pray together, read together and be together. Then after all that, you are free for couple hours to do the things you feel is needed. I take that up and leave and go have my Me time. Whether go to bed early, read my scriptures more, journal, catch up on school, pray and ponder, talk with family/friends.

I do this not because I don’t love to be with everyone. It’s my time because my body is worn out. It’s tired. I have done all I can and I must recharge. Whether it’s 1 hour to 4 hours or the rest of the night, I take that time. We all need to have our own personal time.  Sadly, I have more episodes of throwing up. As in my previous post, it’s being labeled as CVS-Cyclic vomiting Syndrome.And doing more tests.But just as my title of this blog for today says, I must fight going forward with faith. There’s a reason all this is happening to me. I don’t know why. But I do know we all have challenges and It’s up to us how we handle them. I literally was crying after my ‘episode’  It hurts! it hurts to hear, to see, and to feel. It messes me up. Makes me weaker. Makes the family uncomfortable, sad, and helpless not knowing what to do. I just jot it down in my journal and go on.

I’m a member of The Church of Latter Day Saints. Some will recognized it as  LDS or Mormon. Yep, I’m just a 33-year-old gal. I, like all of us, have had challenges and continue to have challenges. We must not give up. Trust me, no matter how much faith and belief I have, I still want to be just 100 percent perfect! Yet, It’s not happening LOL. Doesn’t mean I am loved less or not worth it. I need more growing. And with growing I know that one day, I believe that we all will be resurrected and have perfect bodies. We won’t get sick, have cancer, missing parts, physical or mental disabilities. We will be made whole as Jesus was. I personally know I’ll be healed one day because of my faith in my Savior. He has been through so much and suffered so much for us, for me. He knows what I deal with every day. The tears, the pain, the feelings I get and he lifts me up when I need strength and I can endure just little bit more each day.

I’m not going to preach to you. I am just saying how I feel, because well lol this is how I feel. When I feel I’ve had enough and I can’t go on. I get strengthened and I can go on. As I said, little more each day. I love serving others. I love going to church. I love sitting with my family. I love seeing my friends. I love bearing my testimony. I love the gospel. I love my Savior. I love my Church Leaders. I love it. I love my challenges. You probably wonder why? Well, this is why.I FIGHT ! I FIGHT AND I FIGHT. I will not let my challenges stand in the way of who I am supposed to be. I will not let puking tons or tears of pain stop me from doing what I love. I will fight my hardest to endure the best that I can. Because my Savior did that for me. He fought so hard. HE loves me so much.He gave his life for me and I will be darned to stand aside and make a mockery of his sacrifice .I love him beyond what I can write for him to do that for me. Not just me, but ALL OF US. Like I said, this is how I believe and How I feel. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be writing this today.

So the outcome of enduring and fighting your way through life with FAITH is the answers. Well for me anyways. If it helps you, then you go for it. No matter how hard it is, you’ve been through harder. You get up and you keep going. Don’t let anything and anyone hold you back. I keep telling myself I am here to rise and shine and do what I am suppose to do. And if I don’t know what that is,then I just need to keep going and keep learning and toughen up.It’s hard as hell sometimes! It will be so hard you just hit rock bottom and feel that no one will understand and no one can feel how much you are suffering. Let me tell you something, you feel it. You need to understand. You need to know that you ARE AN AMAZING CHILD OF GOD! You never need to compare yourself to others and think your hardships and how you feel is not important or as big as someone else. We all handle things different. Just know that You are worth it and you do matter.You have been chosen to be in this moment in time and deal with these challenges because you were picked to do so. There is so much waiting for you to see and learn. So I say this to myself too. I know that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me. That even in this picture of withered plants

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they will bloom and grow when they are suppose to grow and bloom when I am needed too. Until that time, I must feast on the sunshine, grow in the gospel and learn in life. I must endure my challenges, take my Savior’s hand and lead my family. I must keep my faith and know that in times of troubles, there is beautiful sunshine, gardens of flowers, and endless blessings despite the ‘withered trials’ There is joy and beauty and blessings each and every day.Oh, how I try to remember despite everything else.My family is the biggest blessing. And being able to work and go to school and buy a home soon. Wow! I can go on and on. So truly blessed. I must keep that picture etched in my mind and keep my faith growing just as having faith the flowers will bloom again.

Basically, no matter who you are, what you believe, or where you are going, you will survive. Even if you feel like that no good withered flower and dirt..You are something. I am something. And when we get beaten down, we must rise up and go forward again. No matter how many times we get knocked down, we get stronger, wiser, and more amazing because we get right back up. Stay true to yourself. I’m working on myself. I’m trying to live as my Heavenly Father and Savior would want me to be. That is trying to be more loving, helpful, and shine. I know that one day we’ll be renewed, and that is why I’m going forward too.

 

 

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