Hello Peeps. I love that word. Why? Because it’s short and sweet . And just addicting to say Lol. Anyways I hope you have a wonderful week. May you know you’re amazing. No matter who you are. You truly are. There is a purpose and reason you are here. I am seeing my purpose each day. Not only as a wife and mother. Not only as a ward missionary for my church. But more importantly a caring and supportive servant for our Lord. I may not know why things happen. I don’t have all the answers. I do know that my heart gets bigger and my compassion grows for everyone. It just does. Sometimes I care too much.  Sometimes it’s overbearing. Yet it is so worth it. So worth seeing dreams made. Seeing miracles happen. Seeing the smile. Hearing the laughter. Being of comfort. Oh how I love supporting and loving others. It feels my heart with so much joy seeing not only my own family but those around me and many whom I’ve never met but support. So never give up. You have a purpose.

As I’m writing this I’m trying not to get sick. For real. If you’ve been following you would see the different health challenges I’ve been having. More symptoms are coming about. My doctor and specialists are all frustrated.  They know that the numbness,nausea,fatigue,projectile vomiting,tingling sensations,glass cutting sensation,burning sensation,bloating,pain,headaches,blurred vision off and on,and spasms are in different places and some symptoms are constant and others are come and go. From few years these symptoms have come and gone. The tests would show good here but not there. Certain meds would help this but not that. If I stopped doing this or taking that another organ would mess up. 

Lately my right side of stomach under rib cage feels as if a knife is going deep inside. I would have a bunch of painful spasms threw my whole body.  It takes my breath away. But thru this and the pain in my legs all the way into the bone. The numerous unexplained bruises on my legs and body that comes and goes it’s just so frustrating. 

I even asked my doctor again are you sure it’s not in my head? Am I just crazy.Lol He stated I was right that we are all frustrated.  But he says that my brain is the best working part. That my body’s nerves are getting on all our nerves. Things aren’t simple like when they first were doctors where it could be this or that. Now we have to do numerous testing. Try different medicines and have patience in all this. 

I must say I have a great support team not only from the physicians but my husband and children. My family and friends and my church family. And alot of those that follow me too. Support is very important.  Love and understanding is as well. Never ever tell someone they aren’t important.  Never compare their trials with you and think you could be better at handling it better or yours is worse. We are givin certain trials in our life because God knows we are capable of handling them. He won’t give us more to just to sit back and watch us suffer. That is why we have each other to help each other and lift each other up.

Through my trials I try to just keep going. I’m finding so much peace during my trials. Before I would get So hateful. I would have such a hardened heart. I would drown in selfpity. My thought process and depression would hit thinking that I’m always a bother. Always something wrong with me. I’m crazy. No body really cares. Not like I’m dying. Everyone else is more important and going through things that I shouldn’t be focusing on me. You know what? That’s the adversary. Because once I got that peace and feeling of comfort my thinking process changed. I stopped thinking on my time. It’s God’s time. He is in control. I’m not crazy.  I’m not a bother. I’m just suffering through challenges that I and others don’t understand.  It’s hard for someone else to know how you feel and get an idea what you are going through. Just because I’m at peace and have this incredible drive doesn’t mean I’m not hurting or that everything is fixed. I’m just trying to enjoy life and that I know all these issues are there so I don’t need to keep focusing on what if or why. I need to focus on I am and I’m doing. 

Life is so incredible. So beautiful. I love my husband and family so much. I truly love my challenges because I can find so much peace during them. In doing that I can help others do the same. How amazing is that? How amazing does it make you feel that even if you don’t know me I still care? That I want you to feel the peace. Feel the love. Feel that no matter the moment or second life gives you the worse thought,trial,or pain and you want to give up, but you know someone out there knows. They may not feel exactly but they know how lonely and heartbreaking it can be. But can really feel the peace. I just so love it. I love the life and the challenges because my drive is so awesome. I keep going no matter how far on the ground I go. No matter how sick and painful it may be. Because I have an amazing Savior and Heavenly Parents that created me. Because of that I’m creating the person I want to be.

Never ever ever give up no matter how hard it is. Yes! Some experiences are worse then others but that is their trial and their reasons they need to go through it will be answered to them. We need not worry on how or why things happen. We need to keep the peace. Need to keep the strength and use it for the good. For ourselves. For each other. For our families. Use your peace,comfort,and strength for good. Especially in the most horrible times our talents will make us rise above them even more. Talents are to be worked hard for. To be shown and to be lifters.

If you get anything out of my thoughts today ,I would hope it’s peace. Peaceful feeling that you’re pretty awesome and incredible. No matter the mistakes.  No matter the reasons. You just keep going on. Look for peace in all circumstances.  Bring the joy in all circumstances.  I promise you. You will be healed one day. In order to see it you must keep believing. Much love ~All the best to you. ~Jackie 


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