Hello Peeps! You are all beautiful . Whether you will see these words or not. My heart withstands so much. I seem to grow my heart more and more. I don’t really care if anyone believes that or not. I have so much  love for others. I honestly feel broken if I say something mean or do something that hurts someone else.

I feel sad when I can’t help another. I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve been like this since I was little. And as I grew older and experienced so much heartache I’ve just grown stronger and closer to my savior. It’s personal for me. I’m just writing this here because it’s easier to manage in my life. Plus you never know if someone is needing to understand or feels the same way.

I don’t mind expressing my opinions and feelings but it’s more when I feel I really have something to say. I can’t make it happen. I just feel prompted to do so and I do it. It’s really helpful to look back too. I’ve been trying to accept others more each day of who they are. Yes, we all have moments where certain people will never change. This can be family, friends, or strangers. I honestly just skim the news once in awhile. I don’t like it. Doesn’t mean I don’t support it. I really don’t care of politics. Doesn’t mean I don’t vote etcc.. It’s not what I am focusing my life on. I’m focusing on trying to do my best so when I’m dead I know where I’ll be. That is my goal. I want to return to my creator. More than ever now. He’s been by my side always. Opened doors so I can live, have a family, be married, go to school, jobs, get my health took care of and so much more. So my purpose is to love and accept others and in hopes to take all I can with me and return to our Heavenly Parents. You may not believe in that. I accept that. Again, I don’t write to debate or tell you you’re wrong or I’m right. I am writing to help myself and understand why life is life. Why we need to do this or that? And the bonus it’s helping others be uplifted.

I’ve been given many talents in crafts,writing,singing,kindness,compassion,love,service and so much more. Who wouldn’t want to provide others with what you were given? I mean that with all my heart. I don’t care if I have 0 followers or 1 million. I don’t care if someone comments or just likes. I don’t flip out when there’s a favorite person who’s influenced me like or follows or even comments. Like I’ve said in the past we all have many things to offer this world. Some of us shine and others do it quietly .Doesn’t mean anyone is more important. Do you think I would believe someone that is in the ‘spotlight’ with over million viewers on things? Or the one that sits quietly , just as I am and speak her peace? I would try to get both views. Then make my choice. I shouldn’t disagree because in what today’s world they call it a ‘star’ . And a ‘loner’. Why not see them both for what they offer? We all have our fears and our reasons. So I rather see how we all can play in life’s roles and what they do to help me and others.

I don’t like popularity or having to choose between ‘favorites’. For me I have so many and I keep adding the list. So I just do my best in supporting the way  I feel is best and in hopes one day they take time to do the same. Even if no one notices you back, that’s just fine. Because at least you are doing what you believe in and that is what’s so beautiful . No one is more ‘popular’ than another. No one is loved more. That goes more into idols and other topics I just really disern from. You can have your favorites,dreams and wishes. But I firmly believe to do so with all you can and not just one group or one person or one thing. Understand??

What I truly care is if they know that whatever I say or what I’ve experienced will give them love,comfort,hope,uplift,or motivation. I can’t make others feel or see the things that I see. We’re not alike. But we all do matter. I try to avoid what the ‘world’ thinks is best. Most thing which really hurts is when you go all out on a compliment, letter,email,call,gift, surpise or whatever that may be and the reaction is either not noticed, just a like, an auto reply, or a recorded message etc ..You understand? It gets so frustrating opening your heart and feelings when there’s so many people liking or wanting the same things that you feel ‘you’re not good enough” OR you see that ” your not popular enough” or not wanted, or don’t look, act, do the same that would ‘draw attention”. You honestly want to know when I start down that road… I say this ..Honest and true. SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU KNOW BETTER! .Seriously I know better.. You know better. But we’re human. We feel things. We want others to acknowlege. I can’t make others do so. I will still show my love and support. But we can’t make others see your heart and feel what you mean.

We can wish and pray that all hearts softened and there’s more time spent on returning compliments,service,prayers,love,support,answers,questions,follows and so much more. That’s just life. Everything changes so fast and we don’t have time to catch up. That’s why I try to value what I have and my worth, gifts,family,friends,gospel and how I can help others then to see if ”I’ll ever be noticed”. Like I said we all shine differently. Either upfront or on sidelines. Either way YOU ARE AMAZING AND YOU KEEP GOING AND YOU KEEP BEING YOU>ALways know someone or many are learning and growing from you. So you never know the impact you are making. Try to make it a worth while and important. Instead of time waisted and hurtful . RESPOND! SUPPORT!ACCEPT!KEEP GOING! YOU MATTER.

I don’t know what’s best. Yet, I try to do what I think is best and that’s what God wants me to do. I’m speaking and singing from my heart. From my blood,sweat,experiences,and tears. From my happiness,and joy and awesome chances. Whatever the emotion I feel I try to express in a more uplifting way.

Darkness is around and in me at times. Same as others. We all make mistakes and some are just so hard to even imagine. Just as when I see , hear or know of someone experiencing something so heartwrenching. Yet, should we pay attention to how bad it is? Or compare? Should we focus on how much someone is having trials ? or judge whether it’s their fault or they get more attention? Such questions as these weighs in my heart. I’m not ashamed to admit when I feel depressed or not paid enough attention and I see someone in my family or amongst friends always getting that more than me it hurts.

Does that make me hate them and stop helping ? NO! I try to see how they are doing and feeling. Yet, I can’t. We don’t know. We can try to understand. Just as the same with all of us around the world. No matter who we are and where we come from we all have challenges. We all make choices. WE ALL SUFFER. We should not help or provide service to be in the ‘star light’. We should never compare our suffering to others. It breaks my heart to see how we must help these people or this country and not this person or that country or even our own. Why can’t we just have one main fund and just distribute as often and much as we can? Because life isn’t that easy. Because we all have our agencies to choose. That’s what I’m doing here in writing and in my life. I try to support financially,emotionally,spiritually, or physically all I can and when I can. Sometimes I can’t even do it all and it breaks my heart. That’s just fine. Doesn’t mean your thoughts and prayers don’t help. Doesn’t mean that you don’t accept others or want to help them.

You choose who you want to be. You choose who you should love. You choose how you act and how you’re going to accept others. I can’t choose it for you. I can’t make you either. I can only offer my heart and thoughts and you decide what to do. It may make a small change or a big impact. WHO KNOWS. But I strongly feel that my heart just wants all of us to accept others the way we want so bad for others to accept us. And that is strongly saying how we accept ourselves. No matter the gift ,you just keep shining and keep going and using your gifts for good. No matter the challenge you just show your love and support even in your own life. Please support and accept yourself.

I’m trying to do the same. It’s hard. Why do you think I talk or sing or do service or whatever I do? Because I’m trying to build up myself. Trying to feel the spirit and understand myself, my life, and others. To understand where I need to be and what I need to do. Understand why we are here. Accepting others is so so important. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see that no matter what anyone is facing that we NEED EACH OTHER? How can you eat, work, buy, shop,cook,clean,wear,drive,sing,dance,play sports, watch, shower,sleep,feed,discipline,learn,grow, or whatever else we can do in life without each other? Have we really stopped and seen what our purpose is for? I believe that’s returning ALL GOD’S CHILDREN BACK TO HIM. Never forgetting and turning away anyone and anywhere. No matter how many times.

Just be accepting that we’re different. We’re going to sound,look,feel,love,act,work,learn,grow,and so much more DIFFERENT. And to me THAT IS SO FREAKIN BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU! YES YOU. YES ALL OF US. INCLUDING ME. I DON’T CARE IF YOU BELIEVE THIS OR NOT. I KNOW IN MY HEART. MY HEART. MY FEELINGS THAT YOU ARE WHAT GOD HAS MADE. YOU ARE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. So why the heck do we make it so hard in life when all reality we all want the same thing. To experience,be acknowledge,accepted, loved,and so much more. All I can say is when I’m inspired by golly I am and that’s the way I see it and feel it and I’m leaving it ..


Much love ~ Jackie


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