Hello all that continues to read and support me. Thank you to all that are buying my books. It really does help so much. Not just because I get a dollar here and there after they get the rest lol. But it helps me grow and push me to do more. If I don’t write then I can’t help inspire and motivate others. I really do appreciate all my friends and family that support me and all of you that I’ve haven’t had the opportunity to meet. My prayers and love are always with you all each and everyday. With the world! So much is happening. Not only in my own life but your life and all around us. Which leads to my title Why I’m Grateful Even During Trials~ A friend awhile back couldn’t understand how I keep going and not just crumble and break. Not meaning in a bad way. With all the trials. So this is why I’m grateful.
I wake up and I see how blessed I am each day in all that is going on. I used to complain so much and be jealous that this person or that person was going there, or buying this, or having a vacation. It started getting me all depressed. I was tired of it. So I did something about it. First off I asked for forgiveness. My attitude really sucked . I seen the bad in everything and everyone around me. I was truly not happy. I wanted more. Well in order to get that you must change your ATTITUDE. So I worked on forgiving and softening my heart. I started taking time out for me in my writing and singing. Instead of being jealous of those around me, I started seeing the joy of the posts or messages. Started seeing how happy it made them. Started seeing they probably needed that more than I needed it. We never know what someone is going through. We should always be grateful for them. Our trials are not to be compared. Just as money, houses,jobs,family,skills,looks ,and well I could go on. You get the picture right?
When I’m depressed which I have fought depression since I was little and anxiety creeped up, I went to my doctor. I told him I had the drive still and I’m loving life but sometimes this takes over. He’s there to listen. I started a new depression pill. So far it’s helping. It’s not something to be ashamed of. You can’t help it. You just need to seek help before it gets worse. When I noticed that nothing was helping me, I knew I needed help. I prayed long and hard. I explained to my husband too. Trust me the adversary still tries to get at me. I’m not going to say that I have a ‘magic pill’. You can’t just take medicine and YAY! You’re just the best queen in the world. You have your moments. Why? Well because you’re human. You feel. But you have to work things out. You need to do your part. Clean your act up and attitude. We all have wants and desires. But they all come and go at different times. You have to experience things different from everyone else. Doesn’t mean you can’t and won’t get what you dream or desire. You will when it’s your time. Jealousy and acting out won’t help matters. Neither will holding grudges, arguing, refusing to help others, and list goes on. I’m not saying I’ve done all that or was, just giving examples.
Life has trials. Each day I try to see my blessings. Not just because of the horrible disasters. I was doing this before I got put on a depression pill too. I’m blessed because I have a husband that loves ALL OF ME. Even when I’m a jerk. I am the same with him. He’s so hardworking as a power lineman, father, husband,friend,and priesthood holder. I’m trying to be the same as a wife,mother,friend,ward missionary, student, and whatever else I choose to be. So why not be grateful for all that? I mean that’s what I always wanted right? YES! That’s what makes me happy right? YES! So why not be grateful ? So I do! I am. Each day. Just as with my health. I’m in physical therapy. It’s hard. I get bad headaches that last days and having plate and screws in my neck doesn’t help. Yet, I’m grateful. Why? Because I can have help with recovery. I can rest when needed in a bed. I can have medical doctors/medicines/specialists/ and whatever else I need with that and all other trials of my health. You know that is such a blessing. So I’m grateful for that.
I’m grateful that my diabetes is under control. My A1c is still 6 or under for the past year. I can’t remember. It used to be almost a 10. Then went to 5.7 I believe . I’m grateful. Because of listening to the counsel of my physicians,family,friends, and those that love me, I managed myself well. I still want to lose like 40 more pounds. Which one day I’ll do it. Yet, I’m grateful. Grateful I have this trial. You may think WHY? Because it teaches me to be more careful with my body. Be more knowledgeable with my health. That way I can be of help to others in my life, such as my children. It’s hard at times. Exercising,watching what you eat, side effects, and so much more. Yet, it’s worth it when all that hard work pays off. You can’t just stop. It’s an ongoing process for the rest of your life.
I’m grateful for the back issues because not only am I in good hands with my physician and Neurosurgeon, I have a physical Therapist that is helping me learn and grow to help my back. I have a mri scheduled next week for it. From there when I see my Neurosurgeon, We’ll know what’s going on . Granted I’m not grateful with the pain, the tears, restless sleep, the numbness,spasms,shooting pain down my legs. The pain in my thighs,back,legs,feet,and glass sensations. So much going on and over time been getting worse. Sometimes it gets hard to walk at times. Just a simple step .You know what I do? I KEEP GOING. I grit my teeth and I keep going. Because I’m grateful. Grateful that while my physicians are working on what needs to be done, I can still manage and follow what they have me do. I have the assistance that I need. I’m grateful for that. Truly the support is wonderful and not many have that. I feel for them . If I continue to be grateful I’ll continue to work hard and one day be healed.
I’m grateful for work and school. Grateful to be able to have a job and help my family along with my spouse. So grateful to have technology to go to school online. That way I can be at home and still be a mother and wife. I’m grateful because I’m in my 2nd week and amongst all the trials and headache and just life, I’ve endured it. It’s hard! College is hard! Learning is fun though. I’m grateful to be able to do this. Working towards my Bachelor’s of Science in Marriage and Family Studies, I want to help others so much. I just have to keep working hard to get there. And working to finish my Young women’s personal progress. You just have to remember, just as I we’re all a WORK IN PROGRESS. That means you will continue to be and grow always and forever. There’s work to be done. There’s knowledge to be learned. Talents to express. Each other to love and support. Trials to conquer and endure. Tragedies that happen. But most important it’s life that needs to be loved, lived,endured,and be grateful with all seconds of it. You never know. You never know what happens that next second. Things change. You can’t stop it. You must learn to accept, grow, endure, learn, and appreciate. Or at least that’s what I’m doing or trying.
Life is beautiful and it’s hard. The trials you endure makes it more beautiful. For in my case, I life others up during my trials. For I make beautiful music by voice or keyboard and piano during life. My expressions through writing or art makes the world more beautiful in all circumstances. My heart feels more and loves more and appreciates more. It breaks just as a cocoon opens and beautiful butterfly comes out. We are that butterfly but we start over as the cocoon. Each time a new phase, a new trial or new change we keep changing. Should we just crumble and stop when things get hard? NO! We should be grateful because it turns to something much more beautiful in the end.
That’s why I’m grateful in my trials. No matter how hard it is. No matter how much I cry and I’m on my knees, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for all the beauty God gives me in this chance to live. I’ve come so far. It’s so amazing to look back and be grateful . Grateful in all that I have and all that I’m doing. Take a look at your life and see that. Truly. Not the trials or things you don’t have. Stop and look at what you have. What you feel. What you see and touch. Where you’re at. Where you’re going. Seriously , AMAZING! So proud of my willingness to keep going. To follow what my Savior would have me do. To lean on him at anytime. But with a open heart! TRULY WOW!
In the beauty of facing trials whether physically,emotionally,spiritually,financially, It’s there. I’m grateful for family and relationships. Grateful for talents and gifts. Grateful to support and love ALL PEOPLE. Oh that’s my favorite part seeing so many shine. So right now, this moment, That’s why I’m grateful . My faith in God and myself and family and friends and life, keeps me going too. You got to have faith! Beauty is within the trials.. BE that beautiful butterfly. No matter how many times you have to hide back into a cocoon and blossom back out
Many prayers to all around the world and many thanks to all that helps around the world. May we all continue to love and support and help and not just in disasters. For we are all Children of God and we all need the love and support in many ways ~Much love ~Jackie