Hello Beautiful Peeps~ I hope you’re doing well and enjoying this wonderful season. May you always know that you’re special. I always try to show others that and not only during a specific holiday. You never know what will happen, so always enjoy the day doing good.
We may complain and desire more than what we need. We’re human. But why not share what we have or desire with others too. I try my best to serve and give all I can. Even If I’m wearing it. It’s not what you have, it’s what you do for others because of what they don’t have. Service is the best gift you could give someone. Not just for the seasons. Service is good every day and doesn’t matter how many times.
Service comes in many forms from physical, emotional, spiritual, or financial. I know I feel so amazing to see the looks or surprises on others faces when I show that I care. Whether it’s a few times with the same person, constant, or just once. Sometimes I do service or good deeds and I never get to see the outcome. I am hoping that it fills them with joy and love and know that they matter. I don’t have to know you. I can even do good deeds but supporting someone in their talents/gifts/ or other desires. Or even by hugs daily/weekly or sending letters. Instead of ignoring phone calls or messages ”thinking I’m to busy”, to make time.
We are never to busy to answer back. We’re never to busy in helping. I want to share something with you. Growing up I had a lot of bullying and I wasn’t really happy with myself at all. I never felt pretty or needed.. Depression is real and mine got bad where I just felt no one would care. Last few months with my major surgery/starting college, buying a house ,and of course life’s trials, I started feeling that way. Even at church. Yes! I know right? Adversary was really trying to get me down and keep me away. I finally found the right depression medicines that help. Nothing wrong with that at all. You have to find your way and seek help.
I didn’t feel needed much as I’m a step mother and Don’t have my own kids. I felt I wasn’t doing great in my church calling as ward missionary. I started to quit singing, writing, and feeling like the great wife I thought I was. When your husband is away you miss him so much. I know our kids have their own mom. I understand that. I love them as they are my own, which I claim. A son that just turned 18 and graduated school early and is searching for a path which he’s struggling. I can’t get a job for him. I can’t heal his heart of not having his mom in his life since he was 4. I can’t take away his pain. But last few days I’ve just hugged him, loved him, spoiled him, talked with him. That’s all I can do. I am his mother here. I am his father’s eternal companion and we continue to show him that even though things didn’t work out when he was young, his dad found me and i accepted both his dad, and him, and his baby sister. I am here for him. I want to take his pain away. I will never replace his mom.
I am here to love and guide and he’ll see that one day. Just the same as our daughter who is 6. When I came into her life she was 3. I helped her dad potty train her. I taught her how to write and help her prepare for school. There’s a lot both children have been through. Same as their father. I am most grateful I can share my love with them. I’m not perfect and I didn’t give birth. But in our home and in life, to all of us I’m their momma/mother. I care. I nurture. I hurt for them. I wipe their tears and enjoy their hugs. I enjoy seeing when their daddy comes home the joy , especially our sweet little girl. I know they love their moms . I know they count on them. I can’t replace them. I’m not trying to do so either. I am simply another figure in their life, they can always count on to love, guide,support,and understand along with their father. It’s hard when families are split up or other circumstances. But that’s why we’re all here. Because we are all given places and reasons to be in other peoples life. So why not embrace those moments and be grateful. 🙂
I am most grateful to be their mother and be married to an amazing man. I am not hurting physically or emotionally from him. I am filling so blessed to have all my hearts desires. We bought our first home. We are working on filling the house of things we need like furniture etc.. you know when you buy a house things you need? Well that’s us. Went from a small 2 bd apartment to townhouse to our own 3 bedroom home. Truly we are blessed.
So I know all the blessings we have, and yet I still felt bad. Why would I feel bad and think everyone has their own groups and friends and you don’t belong anywhere? Well because I have a HUGE HEART. That I was working and doing school and trying to fix and save all those whether it was my children, husband,friends, other family members or strangers. And I couldn’t fix which then made me sad. And when I was sad, I started comparing and feeling unwanted or I couldn’t do anything. Which then the wonderful ”satan” decides to ease his way in and get you to think you are nothing. Just like growing up. It’s real peeps. Very real. No one is perfect. We all get this way. There are those that will ignore, hate, hurt, and judge you. There are those where you will never fit in their ”group” or way of life. Whether in a family, at a job, or at church and school. You must accept that. Don’t have hard feelings. Keep the joy. And search for those that are of need.
I have always loved serving and growing. I also love to make others smile and feel welcome and needed. I don’t have a ”group”. Anyone is loved by me and welcomed. Even if I need to forgive you. I don’t wish hard things or bad things upon anyone doing wrong. I just wish for respect, understanding, and love. Though my struggles are real. And even when amazing things happen and you are happy on that, you can still have battles to fight. That’s called life. You can’t fix everything or everyone . But you can fix your attitude and how you see things. It’s an uphill battle and will come and go.
So I’ve learned to do all I can. Accept that and keep going. That’s all we can do. And do it with a smile. It’s okay to feel hurt ,rejected, in pain, and have emotions. It’s okay to suffer and grieve. Without all of that and more, you wouldn’t learn. I’ve learned a lot because of my trials and pain. It’s not a great thing to keep around, but it’s life. You have it daily.
Just be you and be real. Learn that we will feel down and feel like no one cares. You go through those moments, but must look at the bigger picture. You are amazing and there’s so much work to be done in this world. So many to love and help. Don’t worry about recognition, or counting all the good you do. As long as you’re doing it, that’s what truly matters. I love sharing the joy and laughter. I just love serving and doing good deeds. I love surprising others and supporting them in all their dreams and talents. Life is so special because we are all in it. Just as my children, husband, family and friends. I am most grateful for them and when anyone hurts, I hurt. That’s quite alright. You must keep going though! That is crucial. Never ever think that you aren’t worth it.
May you all know truly how wonderful and special you are. You truly are. See it in yourself. Let us all love and help another or many everyday and in any way. We aren’t too busy. So when I or you feel down and not worth being somewhere or doing certain things, look back and see how far you’ve come and know YES! YOU ARE WORTH IT! And keep doing it and never give up. Keep smiling and shining and being loving. More importantly start with yourself . All the best~ Jackie