THE MANY FEELS I’M HAVING AND SINGING THROUGH IT ALL :) :)

HEY EVERYONE! Today is my day off from work. Which my days off are Wednesday and Sunday’s. So I try to play catch up with helping others, family time, house work, school and whatever else needs to be done. I cherish all the time I can. I try to be a week ahead in school between calls at work or break from work or down time when I can’t sleep. Which lately that’s been a big issue. Due to some back issues. But all is well. I keep going. We’re trying to buy our first house too. So that’s been a big emotional rollercoaster ha-ha. That’s life though. You got to find humor and just love it. Just love life and keep smiling and being grateful and whatever happens. Life gives you more chances and even better. 🙂 So will see how it goes!

Amongst a lot of things going on in the world that I physically can’t be there for everyone. So I do what I can even if it’s just a prayer,poem,call,letter,message,donation or whatever the case may be. I know that my heart keeps growing and I just want everyone around the world to know they are loved. They are incredible,amazing,gifted,somebody,and that no matter what they face individually or as a family, country, or whatever the case may be, that they matter and they are thought of. Same with my husband, children,family, friends and those around me. I care so much about others, you don’t know how bad. Sometimes people think too much and that I get hurt a lot. Yet, I must forgive. I must keep showing compassion and love. After all that’s what I’ve been shown and continue to be shown since birth from parents,siblings,family,friends,gospel,and strangers.

I enjoyed celebrating with my husband and his parents yesterday for his birthday. I truly have an amazing man. He works so hard to provide and so grateful that when we both didn’t want a relationship, because of the previous marriages we had and the hurt, that the lord said NO! This is what I want so we got closer. Despite our challenges in our own life, we’ve come closer and closer. It’s so great. And when he’s gone restoring power as he so loves being a powerlineman, I know all is well and he’s doing awesome things. Just as he’s an amazing dad. Even though I’m not our beautiful son (17yrs) and daughter 6(yrs) mom. I’m still a mother and I love them. I respect that they will always love and cherish their mom. I respect they see them sometime and in future may be more. I respect that they will go to her more for decisions or their dad than me. But I love them as they are my own.

I’m grateful our son is a half credit from graduating. He is done with high school soon. And I’m so glad I could be there even if it’s just an extra mother figure saying I love and support you and along with his dad. Same with our daughter. She’s younger and she will continue to grow knowing that her father loves her so much and so do I. And that I’ll always continue to love and teach her along with her daddy and be a mother to her too. That I’ll never replace their mothers but I’ll have all the room in my heart for them forever. I respect their decisions and not force them to love me. One day they will see what impact I have on their life. Until then I’ll enjoy the blessings of being apart of their life and they are apart of my family . I’m surely blessed. That’s how you make it work and blend families together. Not with hate and judgement . You be there for your children ❤

Just as if any of you feel the same or are in situations , don’t be afraid to be a parent or loved one. Just care for as many people you can . God blesses you in a way that he sends you certain people in your life for a reason. So don’t turn those opportunities down. Show kindness,love,understanding,and compassion not just for children, your own family and friends but everyone. We all are children of God. We all need support and love.

I’m most grateful for my life. For the trials and challenges that make me stronger. For times I feel not great whether physically,emotionally,spiritually, or when I sing, write, as a mother,wife, or other callings. Yet, I’m reminded daily that I’m great as much as I think I am. That there’s always room for improvement but so much to show that I am amazing at whatever I am doing, because I’m doing it. To look above and forward at all I’ve accomplished and doing. That should show you as well. LOOK AT YOU! YOU’RE AMAZING. You don’t wait on someone to tell you that. Learn from your flaws. Love your mistakes and challenges, and embrace life with love and joy. Work through the pain and lean on all the gifts and each other to help each other through. Cherish your time with your family and friends and make time for strangers so they don’t feel lonely and unwanted.

In closing I just want to share some songs of me singing today. I sing because I feel . I sing because I love to express and sing the way I want too. I’m not perfect. No one is. Just as in my writing and other talents. Yet, I keep going. I have my dreams and passions. They will keep growing and coming out to serve and help others. I hope the same for you too. Love supporting others in their dreams and passions. You have them! Up to you to find them .

Just as I keep going in school and being a great wife and mother, daughter,friend, and servant. I’m most grateful for all that I’m given and so much more. That all will be well. Things happen for a reason and we may not always see that plan. But what we do during those times is what matters. So don’t waste it. Seek the joy! Seek the service. Embrace the gifts and talents and share among others. Leave no one behind. Follow and support and hope they do the same.

Enjoy the music ! Enjoy your life. All the best! Much love ~ Jackie

 

SONGBIRD ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/ac75af2ab

WAYFARING STRANGER ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/ac6d19eeb

AFTER THE GOLD RUSH ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/af788bbeb

FREEDOM ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/b38d86a6b

WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/b078a410b

 

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YOU DON’T NEED TO BE NOTICED OR PERFECT TO CONTINUE YOUR DREAMS AND SHARE YOUR GIFTS <3

Hello, all my beautiful peeps! I want you to know YOU ARE AWESOME! YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE GIFTED! Now I said that it’s up to you to take it or forget it. If it’s something you’ve been wanting your whole life to be noticed or told these things well then here they are. You just have to believe in yourself to see it for yourself. I don’t have to support, write, or tell you these things. Same with I don’t have to support anyone in their dreams, passions, and whatever they choose to be. I do it because I WANT TOO! I enjoy it! I love it! I appreciate your work or gifts , talents, and personality. I love my husband, children, family and friends and all of you across the globe. If I cared about people supporting me in my dreams and talents, I’d pay more attention who’s following this or my social media. But that’s not who I am. I do it when I feel prompted or have something to say.

So you can go about your days and months and even years waiting for someone to notice and give you opportunities. Or you make it happen. With just a small step. Get out there and share! We all have talents whether in physical, emotional, spiritual , or whatever else there is. Some sing and write and art like me. Or love helping others like me. Your talents are endless. They can be dancing, video games, building, serving, kindness, whatever .. it makes you even better. So dream away and make it happen. If a door closes it wasn’t meant for you to give up. It was meant for you to open another door and take a chance. Yes, it’s disappointing.. but really you are the one that makes it that way. Brush it off and know how amazing you are.

I sing and write and doodle not to be like this other person or this singer. I do it because I EXPRESS. I FEEL> I LOVE! And I do it for comfort for others. One day my cd/cds and more books and whatever else I decided will come about. I’ve been rejected a lot and well, that’s just fine. It hurts but I just keep going. I do it the way I want to do it. I am who I want to be and that is being tested and tried and turning into something so better and beautiful. Doesn’t matter who we are and where we come from. Doesn’t matter if no one notices or not. It matters within you. You had something light that spark so keep it lite. We’re all around to love and support. And if some feel that ”you’re not good enough” well love and support them anyway. You don’t have to do what they do. NEVER GIVE UP. You have what you have to offer and share. Only you can make it happen. You don’t have to live a certain place or have certain looks, or change who you are. I see so many doing that. BE YOU! YOU ! YOU ! YOU ARE WHAT MAKES THIS WORLD SPECIAL > So go make it count.

SONGS THAT I’VE BEEN SINGING Much love! ENjoy .. all the best ~ Jackie

HIGH SIERRA ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/cdbc6875d

HARDEN MY HEART ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/c5686383d

MY STRONGEST WEAKNESS ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/c37e83b3d

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/bf797946d

CHASING CARS ~ http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/c194e5b6d

 

HAVING HOPE AND FAITH DURING CHALLENGES <3

AMAZING GRACE (MY CHAINS ARE GONE ) ~ singing this.. So blessed! 🙂

http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/r/c9b1a6661

 

Hello Everyone! I hope you’re doing well in your life. May you know that I’ll post as often as I can. Life is sure busy though. I appreciate those that take time to still follow. I’m still doing well in school, work, as a mom and wife. Still enjoying my family and life. Working hard through my physical therapy. I’ll see my neurosurgeon on Nov 2nd. Appointment got moved. So I’ll know more about my Mri results on my back and how this post surgery on my neck has been doing. As always I try to keep on with my writing and singing. But my family life and school and work keeps me busy. That’s good though. Not too busy so you can’t enjoy life though right? Right! You got to enjoy and embrace life.

So, there’s a lot going on in my life, your life and life around us. There’s mentally, physically,financially, and other challenges that rise each day. Some may have more than one challenge come upon you. I just ask that you KEEP GOING. Nothing is more worth it in life than you. Only one of you. Try to keep the faith and hope. It’s hard, very very hard. I’ve had my share of horrible challenges that I just had enough. I still have my challenges. I’m not ashamed to say I have major depression and some anxiety. Not ashamed to say I have some physical issues. There’s a list of things I could give you that I don’t like. Yet, I rather tell you what I am doing and what I do right. I believe you should too.

You know what though? I’d be ashamed if I didn’t recognized what is going on in my life and doing something about it. We can’t make people understand. There may be peeps that still put you down or not include you for they feel you’re ”mental” or ”unsteady”. There may be peeps that think they are better than you and you’re not worth their time to notice. Many peeps may compare and tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. These can come from strangers,family,and friends. That is WRONG! Don’t let that stop you. Find to forgive. Find the love. Be yourself and serve and embrace the good. When you work on helping others, your problems seem so small. Yet, doesn’t mean you’re not worth being helped either. You seek that help and ask for help. Start small. It may be hard but you can do it. All will be well.

I am not ashamed to be on medicine to help my depression or having to take medicine for my physical issues.That’s life! But don’t let it consume you. You are better off doing things you enjoy and living life than to always know something is wrong and do nothing. That’s a waste for sure. I use my talents for the service of others and not to be shown to the world that I’m better. I use my challenges I’ve overcome or am overcoming to inspire and help others. I use my physical limitations or overweight or whatever it may be to help me endure more and I keep my hope and faith. That way I can be of service to others or show my children and family and friends that nothing can stop you but yourself.

So YOU CAN TOO. You are so beautiful and amazing just the way you are. Even with all your faults, challenges,and doubts. I can tell you all this til I’m blue in the face, and the only thing that matters is when you wake up and see it yourself. You are not crazy. You are not worthless. You are talented, beautiful,amazing,and priceless. What you deal with or have dealt with makes you even better and brighter. You inspire. Never let a chance that you have pass you by. You gain that hope and faith and you seize that moment and for the rest of your life. Your disabilities, illnesses,challenges,and other things is what is meant for you to LEARN, GROW,CONQUER,INSPIRE,AND ABOVE ALL LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF DESPITE ALL YOU FACE.

I still have my moments and doubts. I still have my tears and fears. I still have my ”not so good at singing,writing,etc”. Yet, I suck it up and have that moment and I keep going with hope and faith in myself. Hope and faith in God and knowing that there are reasons for everything that happens. Yes, some isn’t of your control. Some you didn’t even ask for. Doesn’t mean you should just stop and suffer the rest of your life and pity yourself and think you won’t get there or make this or do this because of this or what people say or how you’re treated. Because let me tell you , YOU CAN! Oh you can.! You do it one second at a time. You grab hold of all that strength that’s left in you and you rise and seek the help and support you need. You’re an inspiration for what you are going through , no matter what it is, it’s changing lives. You just can’t see that because you aren’t seeing it in you. YOU HAVE TO SEE IT AND FEEL IT AND KNOW IT IN YOU FIRST. Oh keep that hope and faith in you in all the bad. Blessings are waiting.

No amount of challenge,illness,or disability is worth you giving up and not moving on. No amount of criticism, abuse, neglect, not accepting, or other things are worth you not believing and loving yourself. You are way better than what you think you may become. WAY BETTER! I know that words are just words. But they mean something. You mean something. I mean something. PRICELESS! WORTH SO MUCH. Not WORTHLESS. Grab that hope and that faith and you keep rolling on. No matter how hard it is. No matter how challenging it can be. No matter if you feel no one cares or don’t understand. Because you have made it thus far. You have those gifts that need to be shared. You have a life that needs to inspire others in it. You have a chance or chances so don’t waste. Love yourself in all the good,bad and the ugly. In all the pain and sorrow. In all the times you want to give up. You know why? Because there is still hope and faith in yourself deep down inside. Otherwise you wouldn’t be who you are today.

GRAB THAT AND SHINE BABYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! YOU SHINE ! Don’t worry of who isn’t commenting. Don’t worry if no one is listening. Don’t worry if knowing is showing up or seeing, laughing,smiling, or whatever the case maybe. Because I’ll tell you, they are and they will and you can’t see that unless you believe it first. YOU DO THAT! YOU SEE THAT IN YOU! Get your talents and rise above all challenges and figure out a way. If you stumble than you stumble and get back up. You keep that hope and faith and believe. Because GOD MADE YOU AND HE WANTS YOU TO SEE YOU AS HE KNOWS WHAT YOU CAN BECOME. Don’t lose faith in that. We’re all different for a reason because we all have something to offer.. Go find it .See your beauty and LOVE IT ALL ~

Much love ~ All the best~ Jackie

MY TALK I GAVE SUNDAY & LIFE <3

So in case you’ve been wondering what I’ve been up too….Well first year of college on Week 3.. 3 classes (6 credits) Working towards Bachelor’s of Science in Marriage and Family Studies degree..It’s challenging but I’m doing it.. So besides that and working and being a mom and wife, and house hunting, and life and physical therapy on my neck and back for post surgery of neck. Then I went to do my Mri with contrast yesterday which I hated because I couldn’t hardly breathe. Tight space, don’t like. But I listened to good music 🙂 So I’ll get the results of that in next couple days and see what will happen from there.

I was blessed to give a talk on Foundation of Faith . So I’ll post it here in case you want to read it. It’s long but when I gave it, I totally was guided. And well it was a step towards facing my fear of stage fright. It didn’t matter if it sucked or not. I was asked and there was a reason , so I did it. I can do hard things. So can you. We have been looking at homes the past couple years and more full force last few months. And we know it’s up to God! So all things will work out when they are needed. But let me tell you trying to buy a house brings so so so many emotions and hard work LOL. But like I said , we’re putting the faith in God and we done our part. Things happen for all reasons so wherever we end up , then that’s where we need to be. So if you pray then that would be nice.

The hubby is back from restoring power in Florida . What a great example he’s been and so happy to have him home! So grateful for all that continues to help ❤ May we always continue to cherish our family and friends and those in hard times. My heart continues to grow and continues to send much love,prayers,comfort and support to all my family, friends, and all those around the world that are experiencing trials . Never feel that you’re alone. You matter and you’re thought of and if that’s all I can do, then it’s something. I want everyone to feel comfort and needed and special. Those going through very hard trials Just keep the faith and know in time you’ll get what you need. They may be just words but I wish I could do more than just pray and support you. Just sharing some love. Those in your talents, you keep going. You keep rising and you keep sharing. Never ever give up. Don’t compare . Keep doing what you do~

Continue to know you’re blessed. Continue to know you’re amazing. In hard times or good times you can always push through. Just take those baby steps. Enjoy my talk 🙂 Much love ~ All the best~ Jackie

Referenced my talk from Quentin Cook – General Conference Lds.org Foundation of Faith (April 2017)

 

 

Good Afternoon everyone. It’s so good to be here. Not meaning up here on the stand… Meaning here at church and with my family and that includes all of you. Which works well with the talk I was asked to be given. Jed had called while I was trying to talk to Chris while he was on storm damage in Florida.

The signals were bad. And at the time, I didn’t know who was calling. But then Chris had to go. I then received a text messaged stating it was Jed and for me to call him a second. Right then I knew why. You see, even if you’re behaving and doing what’s right, Heavenly Father sees and knows all. Just as I was asked to give the opening prayer last Sunday. When I went on the stand, I thought, ‘’Man! I give more prayers than talks here. That’s awesome. At least I can pray good.” Something on the lines of that. Well, little did I know my thoughts would get heard for Tuesday night. When Jed started to ask, I told him I figure I knew what he was going to ask. I of course said yes. Then I thought Why?

I then knew why. It was because of my Faith in Christ that Heavenly Father wants me to speak. To have those that need to hear listen, whether it be any of you or myself. All part of Heavenly Father’s plan. Amazing how we quickly hesitate or ask Why a lot. That just means we need to keep growing our faith.

I was asked to reference the talk Foundation of Faith by Quentin Cook from April 2017 General Conference. This talk is a perfect example how to keep our faith and work on building up our faith. I loved this part of his talk which I quote:

“In our family, there is one event of a similar nature that stands out. When our youngest son was about four years old, he came into the house and gleefully announced to the family with great pride: “I can do everything now. I can tie, I can ride, and I can zip.” We understood he was telling us that he could tie his shoes, he could ride his Big Wheel tricycle, and he could zip his coat. We all laughed but realized that for him they were monumental achievements. He thought he had truly arrived and was grown up.”

What an accomplishment that this little boy felt. He had so much desire, excitement and faith in himself. Same as whatever we may do in our lives. We must start from somewhere.Just as the title ‘’foundation of faith’’. Ask ourselves where is our beginning point? I personally feel it’s the start in premortal life. And then when we came to this earth and were born. As we take steps and as we started growing up and making choices for ourselves. The cycle continues. We must have faith to keep going. It all started somewhere.

As stated in Cook’s talk  I quote “We rejoice in these events; they should not be diminished in any way. But for enduring faith and to have the constant companionship of the Spirit, there is no substitute for the individual religious observance that is comparable to physical and mental development. We should build on these experiences, which sometimes resemble initial baby steps. We do this by consecrated commitment to sacred sacrament meetings, scripture study, prayer, and serving as called.”

I personal feel that we must always build our faith up and have that pure foundation. That’s all part of the atonement and renewing our covenants. For we have a chance to rebuild ourselves and fix and repair the damage to our temples. Our body is a temple. It’s a work in progress. Pure foundation that Heavenly Father created and that our Savior sacrificed so much. If he didn’t have a sure foundation of faith in his own life, he wouldn’t have done so much for us. Just as the same as what we are doing in our life. We would learn and grow and make choices and believe in something or try things if we didn’t have faith in it or ourselves that it can happen. Our Heavenly Father wants us to learn. He has set forth trials and just as the little boy being so excited for riding his bike and tying his shoes by himself. He had the mind set he can do anything.

As we can have that in our hearts and in our physical, emotional and spiritual needs. We can do anything, but not by ourselves. We must take those baby steps. We need the constant companion of the Holy Ghost. Not just on Sundays. Not just when we get married, or go on a mission, or start a new job or new project. We can be excited and have faith in ourselves, but what happens if we stumble? If our temples fall apart?

If we don’t have that stable faith and sacredness of accepting our lords help, the adversary will get in and he will destroy in every crack that he can squeeze. Which then we start losing our faith and there for the foundation starts falling apart. Our faith in ourselves, our family, our Heavenly Father and Savior, diminishes. And then we are left with nothing. No hope. We start doubting more and fearing more.

Another great part from Quentin’s talk that I’d like to share and it would be great if you can go home and ponder and read this talk from Quentin Cook.

“Adversity should not be viewed as either disfavor from the Lord or a withdrawal of His blessings. Opposition in all things is part of the refiner’s fire to prepare us for an eternal celestial destiny.14 When the Prophet Joseph was in Liberty Jail, the words of the Lord to him described all manner of challenges—including tribulations and false accusations—and conclude:

“If the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.”

 

Just because we have trials and sometimes many at one time, doesn’t mean that Heavenly Father wants our faith to be destroyed. We’re here to be tested. To be tempted. To choose. Not just for this life temporary but for our eternal life to come. We’re being built up. The foundation of our faith is being built each day and faith is what powers us to become what Our Heavenly Father wants us to be. We may not see that now, but doesn’t mean we can’t have faith and believe in it.

So, let’s keep each other’s foundations solid. We are all Family and God’s children. No sheep as it’s said should be left behind. Neither should our testimonies and our strength be diminished. We will have times where we fall. Where we make bad choices. Our temples will either start to crumble or fall. Doesn’t mean that it’s the end. That’s all part of having faith in Our Savior to help lift us back up. Having each other to pray, visit, strengthen, teach, love and support to bring each other together. To keep our eyes on the fullness of the gospel with prayer and scripture study. Not to do so in a hurry. To do so with an open mind and heart. Ask questions. To build ourselves up and what we know to be true.

Just as Joseph smith as a young boy knew that he had so much faith in what he seen and knew to be true. Which brought us another testament of Jesus Christ and other scriptures. Look how much growth the church has grown since Jesus came to earth? Since the fall of Adam and Eve. So, everyone has their faith tested since the earth was created. And we will continue to do so. Look at all that has happened because of their foundation of faith. That too can be in our lives and our eternal life to come. You never give up on your faith. Don’t put aside what you so strongly deep down inside know to be true for unwanted things or unnecessary choices of the world. Grab that faith and stay true and let it build up forever and have that constant companion of the holy ghost with you always so your temple will not be destroyed and that you can return to our Heavenly Father and all those that can be with you. The world is waiting for each of us to help and we must build up to take on the world and know that is why we are here.

Never forget that. Never forget your love and that you are made of God and he makes things so remarkably beautiful and that if he built you as a temple, IMAGINE WHAT HIS FOUNDATION OF FAITH IS TO YOU? IMAGINE IT JUST AS WHAT THE SAVIOR DID FOR YOU~ Can we do the same for each other and those we meet and remember why we are here. Please ask that in your hearts. Get the help you need to stabilize so you can be more secure and grow and not tear down what was created so beautifully for us.

We must grasp a hold of what we know in our hearts to be true. To see and believe in all faith and hold fast to our foundation. Take the baby steps necessary such as scripture, prayer, family home evening, visiting and home teaching. Going to the temple. Providing support to all those we can and help serve. No matter how big or small our faith can be at this moment, we must exercise it.

In closing I would like to have you ponder this, if we have so much desires and efforts we put in to worldly things and so much faith in ourselves that we can have that foundation in whether in our marriage, family, relationships, school, work, talents, and other things we spend our time and efforts trying to become better. Then Can we use that much effort and our strength and build our Foundation in Faith in God? In our Savior? In each other? If we have so much faith that builds us up to becoming better in what the world wants us to be or how we want to be or look or do? Then why can’t we do the same and use it spiritually for our eternal foundation in putting more faith in ourselves in the righteous choices, in forgiving others, not holding grudges.

Not comparing. Not coitizing others for whatever they choose to do or become. We all have a choice. We all god’s children and we must all find our faith in our own way. But judging and pushing away each other and not helping ourselves and each other no matter who it may be to grow our temples. To make sure we’re steady. To see the excitement of what we accomplish. Why can’t we make that sacrifice? This is eternal sacrifice not just a temporary. But we got to start somewhere. Why not now. Make steps to grow and not compare. To not think that our foundations and our faith are better than each other. We need to all be prepared and have faith every day and little more each day. Build our temples up and become what Heavenly Father wants us to be.

I chose to have faith in that. Faith in everything that I do no matter the trials that I face. To choose to keep my faith and when I crumble I build myself up and that is with the faith knowing Heavenly Father and My Savior are with me every step of the way. Even if it’s the smallest step. To hold fast to that rod. Not let the adversary win what I work so hard for. Just as you should do the same.

We all know where we need to be and what we need to be doing. How many reminders do we need? As many as the lord will provide. He has his ways and most of them are testing that faith. Every decision. Every trial. Every mistake. Every judgement.

We should choose what does our Heavenly Father and Savior want us to do? Is it for us? Or for them? Does the worldly foundations of popularity or mess up our plans seem better than our spiritual faith? I strongly believe that as I at least try then I’ll keep being healed every step of the way. So, can you. But we must be willing and we must start building something. For we can’t have someone else do it for us. Faith is so important in all aspects of our earthly life but more importantly our spiritual life and eternal life to come.

So grateful for the gospel. Grateful for the free agency and the knowledge. For our prophets and leaders. For all those in my life. For an eternal companion where we can grow together in faith in each other and in our family. That our children will see the impact and know for themselves to start building their temples and their faith more each day. Same with our extended family and those we meet. I’m forever grateful for the atonement for my savior who made it possible that when I crumble and when the adversary or judgement of how I am or how I should be comes from others, that I know for sure I’m a daughter of god and I’m beautiful inside and out and that I’m growing my foundation of faith no matter how many times I must be picked back up. That I won’t let that interfere with how Heavenly Father sees me or my Savior and neither should any of you. I testify that this gospel is true. I don’t have to see god or my savior to know it is. Because I Without Doubt Believe it to be true with all the faith that I have and growing and will not ever deny it. I hope to continue to do so and to carry my family along with my companion to the eternity’s and in hopes we all come together with no one left behind.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ Amen

Jackie (2017)

 

 

 

WHY I’M GRATEFUL EVEN DURING TRIALS? <3

Hello all that continues to read and support me. Thank you to all that are buying my books. It really does help so much. Not just because I get a dollar here and there after they get the rest lol. But it helps me grow and push me to do more. If I don’t write then I can’t help inspire and motivate others. I really do appreciate all my friends and family that support me and all of you that I’ve haven’t had the opportunity to meet. My prayers and love are always with you all each and everyday. With the world! So much is happening. Not only in my own life but your life and all around us. Which leads to my title Why I’m Grateful Even During Trials~ A friend awhile back couldn’t understand how I keep going and not just crumble and break. Not meaning in a bad way. With all the trials. So this is why I’m grateful.

I wake up and I see how blessed I am each day in all that is going on. I used to complain so much and be jealous that this person or that person was going there, or buying this, or having a vacation. It started getting me all depressed. I was tired of it. So I did something about it. First off I asked for forgiveness. My attitude really sucked . I seen the bad in everything and everyone around me. I was truly not happy. I wanted more. Well in order to get that you must change your ATTITUDE. So I worked on forgiving and softening my heart. I started taking time out for me in my writing and singing. Instead of being jealous of those around me, I started seeing the joy of the posts or messages. Started seeing how happy it made them. Started seeing they probably needed that more than I needed it. We never know what someone is going through. We should always be grateful for them. Our trials are not to be compared. Just as money, houses,jobs,family,skills,looks ,and well I could go on. You get the picture right?

When I’m depressed which I have fought depression since I was little and anxiety creeped up, I went to my doctor. I told him I had the drive still and I’m loving life but sometimes this takes over. He’s there to listen. I started a new depression pill. So far it’s helping. It’s not something to be ashamed of. You can’t help it. You just need to seek help before it gets worse. When I noticed that nothing was helping me, I knew I needed help. I prayed long and hard. I explained to my husband too. Trust me the adversary still tries to get at me. I’m not going to say that I have a ‘magic pill’. You can’t just take medicine and YAY! You’re just the best queen in the world. You have your moments. Why? Well because you’re human. You feel. But you have to work things out. You need to do your part. Clean your act up and attitude. We all have wants and desires. But they all come and go at different times. You have to experience things different from everyone else. Doesn’t mean you can’t and won’t get what you dream or desire. You will when it’s your time. Jealousy and acting out won’t help matters. Neither will holding grudges, arguing, refusing to help others, and list goes on. I’m not saying I’ve done all that or was, just giving examples.

Life has trials. Each day I try to see my blessings. Not just because of the horrible disasters. I was doing this before I got put on a depression pill too. I’m blessed because I have a husband that loves ALL OF ME. Even when I’m a jerk. I am the same with him. He’s so hardworking as a power lineman, father, husband,friend,and priesthood holder. I’m trying to be the same as a wife,mother,friend,ward missionary, student, and whatever else I choose to be. So why not be grateful for all that? I mean that’s what I always wanted right? YES! That’s what makes me happy right? YES! So why not be grateful ? So I do! I am. Each day. Just as with my health. I’m in physical therapy. It’s hard. I get bad headaches that last days and having plate and screws in my neck doesn’t help. Yet, I’m grateful. Why? Because I can have help with recovery. I can rest when needed in a bed. I can have medical doctors/medicines/specialists/ and whatever else  I need with that and all other trials of my health. You know that is such a blessing. So I’m grateful for that.

I’m grateful that my diabetes is under control. My A1c is still 6 or under for the past year. I can’t remember. It used to be almost a 10. Then went to 5.7 I believe . I’m grateful. Because of listening to the counsel of my physicians,family,friends, and those that love me, I managed myself well. I still want to lose like 40 more pounds. Which one day I’ll do it. Yet, I’m grateful. Grateful I have this trial. You may think WHY? Because it teaches me to be more careful with my body. Be more knowledgeable with my health. That way I can be of help to others in my life, such as my children. It’s hard at times. Exercising,watching what you eat, side effects, and so much more. Yet, it’s worth it when all that hard work pays off. You can’t just stop. It’s an ongoing process for the rest of your life.

I’m grateful for the back issues because not only am I in good hands with my physician and Neurosurgeon, I have a physical Therapist that is helping me learn and grow to help my back. I have a mri scheduled next week for it. From there when I see my Neurosurgeon, We’ll know what’s going on . Granted I’m not grateful with the pain, the tears, restless sleep, the numbness,spasms,shooting pain down my legs. The pain in my thighs,back,legs,feet,and glass sensations. So much going on and over time been getting worse. Sometimes it gets hard to walk at times. Just a simple step .You know what I do? I KEEP GOING. I grit my teeth and I keep going. Because I’m grateful. Grateful that while my physicians are working on what needs to be done, I can still manage and follow what they have me do. I have the assistance that I need. I’m grateful for that. Truly the support is wonderful and not many have that. I feel for them . If I continue to be grateful I’ll continue to work hard and one day be healed.

I’m grateful for work and school. Grateful to be able to have a job and help my family along with my spouse. So grateful to have technology to go to school online. That way I can be at home and still be a mother and wife. I’m grateful because I’m in my 2nd week and amongst all the trials and headache and just life, I’ve endured it. It’s hard! College is hard! Learning is fun though. I’m grateful to be able to do this. Working towards my Bachelor’s of Science in Marriage and Family Studies, I want to help others so much. I just have to keep working hard to get there. And working to finish my Young women’s personal progress. You just have to remember, just as I we’re all a WORK IN PROGRESS. That means you will continue to be and grow always and forever. There’s work to be done. There’s knowledge to be learned. Talents to express. Each other to love and support. Trials to conquer and endure. Tragedies that happen. But most important it’s life that needs to be loved, lived,endured,and be grateful with all seconds of it. You never know. You never know what happens that next second. Things change. You can’t stop it. You must learn to accept, grow, endure, learn, and appreciate. Or at least that’s what I’m doing or trying.

Life is beautiful and it’s hard. The trials you endure makes it more beautiful. For in my case, I life others up during my trials. For I make beautiful music by voice or keyboard and piano during life. My expressions through writing or art makes the world more beautiful in all circumstances. My heart feels more and loves more and appreciates more. It breaks just as a cocoon opens and beautiful butterfly comes out. We are that butterfly but we start over as the cocoon. Each time a new phase, a new trial or new change we keep changing. Should we just crumble and stop when things get hard? NO! We should be grateful because it turns to something much more beautiful in the end.

That’s why I’m grateful in my trials. No matter how hard it is. No matter how much I cry and I’m on my knees, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for all the beauty God gives me in this chance to live. I’ve come so far. It’s so amazing to look back and be grateful . Grateful in all that I have and all that I’m doing. Take a look at your life and see that. Truly. Not the trials or things you don’t have. Stop and look at what you have. What you feel. What you see and touch. Where you’re at. Where you’re going. Seriously , AMAZING! So proud of my willingness to keep going. To follow what my Savior would have me do. To lean on him at anytime. But with a open heart! TRULY WOW!

In the beauty of facing trials whether physically,emotionally,spiritually,financially, It’s there. I’m grateful for family and relationships. Grateful for talents and gifts. Grateful to support and love ALL PEOPLE. Oh  that’s my favorite part seeing so many shine. So right now, this moment, That’s why I’m grateful . My faith in God and myself and family and friends and life, keeps me going too. You got to have faith! Beauty is within the trials.. BE that beautiful butterfly. No matter how many times you have to hide back into a cocoon and blossom back out

Many prayers to all around the world and many thanks to all that helps around the world. May we all continue to love and support and help and not just in disasters. For we are all Children of God and we all need the love and support in many ways ~Much love ~Jackie

One Year Since Our Sealing ❤😚

Happy Sunday Everyone. May you remember how special you are. Enjoy your day with your family and friends. Enjoy your day going to church to get renewed if you go.

As I get ready for church, I got to speak to my husband for a second via text. He’s still working hard for those in need as a power lineman in Florida. I know he is needed and his purpose on earth is doing just that and more. I would be lying if I didn’t miss him. But I am comforted knowing he is where he needs to be. After all I’m busy being a mom,wife,student,working and so much more. So I stay busy.

Today marks our year since we were able to make sacred covenants in Columbus Ohio Temple. Today means more to us then our normal “wedding day” June 2014. If you’re not familiar with lds religion, a sealing is where you can be sealed to your loved ones not just for on earth but all eternity. We believe that after we die we can be together as husband and wife and with our families forever.

So that personally to me is a wonderful comfort because all the test here on earth we go through I want it to be so worth it so it’s FOREVER baby lol . And I’ll keep my forever love with me and family . It’s just a special day and I know that as I continue to keep going and fight through the battles, I can have that forever that’s promised. I know there’s a life after this and it will n endless. Sad part is we have to get through this first. So if I have my dreams,desires, and promises as a target then I’ll do my best. It’s hard but so worth it.

I never felt more beautiful and special then on that day. I felt so loved by so many. I always wanted to feel like a princess. And to have family and friends there and I did. It was magical. Took all the pain and other obstacles I had to endure away and made my enduring so worth it. I love you hunny . You’re my forever . You’re my best friend. I’m here always and forever and praying, loving and supporting you in all you do as you do me. Will celebrate when you get back. Have that honeymoon we always wanted. Stay safe and Ty for being my forever and choosing me as your forever. Those that you are helping restore power ,I’m sure is appreciating you and many.

I know your family here does always. Love you more ❤

And for all those that read this, May you find your happiness with whoever . May you know you don’t need a “fairytale” story to know how beautiful,amazing,priceless, and wonderful you are. You have to see it in you first. Doesn’t matter if we believe the same. Just as long as we love and support and believe in ourselves and others, that will help us in our lives. Much love . Talk soon

All the best ~Jackie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AL CARRAWAY <3

I wanted to take a moment and dedicate a special post for AL! If you don’t know who she is then here you go 🙂  This is her site where you can learn more ! 🙂

https://www.alcarraway.com/

So as many of you know, I try to support all I can. This is however I can. Having a husband, family, and going to school and working etc.. Life can be busy. But I do make time when I can (or as I say multitask) Family and serving and supporting others are what my heart desires. Then it comes my writing and music lol 🙂

AL , Since you’ve been amazing doing what I love to do myself and uplift and support others. I wanted to do something for you. So I’ve been trying to find the best gift to give you. And I decided since we’re not in the same state, I wanted to dedicate another post to you. This one is A SONG FOR YOU! I wish I had music but one day I’ll find someone to do music and then I can complete my cd 🙂

Happy Birthday Beautiful Daughter of ZION! May you and your family continue to be blessed as you’re blessing so many others. One day I know we’ll be able to chat and enjoy sharing our inspiring stories. Ty Al 🙂 Ty for being you and sharing your stories. You have a purpose and that is helping others. That way they too can do what Heavenly Father wants them to do. Most important for them to see how special they are. JUST LIKE YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! ❤ ❤

 

BEAUTIFUL SOUL

A strong woman of faith and love

Was sent here to share her strength from above

The trials she has and endure daily in her life

Helps her keep shining and striving for what is right.

 

A Beautiful soul that touches lives each and every day

Reminds that you’re so loved despite what other’s say

Brings sunshine and love with truth from what she believes

A daughter of God wants you to see and feel the same thing.

 

She’ll comfort and bring you up when tears fill your eyes

Doesn’t think she’s better than you, just wants you to realize

Your  a child of God who can  know all things too

A daily prayer and words she’s always sending for you

 

A Beautiful soul that touches lives each and every day

Reminds that you’re so loved despite what other’s say

Brings sunshine and love with truth from what she believes

A daughter of God  wants you to see and feel the same thing.

 

No matter the hurt or the trials she and her family face

She can really keep going and know from God’s grace

A unselfish soul that just wants to see you are loved

Hoping all God’s children will return one day up above.

 

A Beautiful soul that touches lives each and every day

Reminds that you’re so loved despite what other’s say

Brings sunshine and love with truth from what she believes

A daughter of God wants you to see and feel the same thing.

 

To see you’re so loved and feel the same thing …..

Dedicated to AL Carraway ~ Much love (c) Jackie Hall 2017